Fear Everyone! Eat More Bread!

Taylor is truly suffering for perfection. Not only does he spend every moment crafting his beautiful greenhouse, but he's goring himself with the screw gun! Look at his hand! There's are two holes in it! And a cut on the finger!
Obviously, to the majority of the world's population, a wound this small would be unmentionable- but we are Americans, and it is our duty to announce every little thing that occurs, so that the rest of the American population will live in fear. Therefore, in the name of national security, I am putting the terror alert at Code Orange, because a terrorist obviously switched our harmless Ryobi screw gun for one made with hatred and unpatriotic thoughts, and it purposely hurt an innocent civilian. Be on guard, comrades, for these are dangerous times.

I wish to amaze you all by the amazingness of the bread I am baking. I feel as if I am creating little bits of awesomeness that I can admire as well as eat. Have I mentioned yet that bread is my absolute favorite things humans have invented? Well, it is. And how.