The Mighty Bonnacon Attacks!

For Christmas, Taylor got me a really great, old, school-district-reject piano. It's beautiful and out of tune, and we love it. Porcelin Elephant loves it too, but Porcelin Pig thinks it's way too loud:
I'm reading a really great book called the 'Book of Beasts,' an English translation of a Latin bestiary from the 12th century. It's an encyclopedia of all the animals they knew about (and some they made up), and the physical and moral qualities of each one. Women, whores especially, seemed to occupy a lot of the author's thoughts- "Wolves are known for their rapacity, and for this reason we call prostitutes wolves, because they devastate the possessions of their lovers."
This is one of my favorite creatures, the Bonnacon. When it's being chased by hunters, it emits a fart three acres wide that sets trees afire and makes every living creature collapse:

Sharpen Your Saws

When going into the woods to cut a Christmas tree, you have to be ready to do some real heavy duty lifting, and if you are at all out of shape or not ready for the action, those trees will dominate you. They don't care. They'll do it with no remorse at all. I've seen it happen. Taylor and I knew what we were up against, so we boldly strode into the Dark Forest with our guns a-blazin' and we showed those dagnabbiter trees just who was boss: